Changing symptoms and anxiety

I’ve been pregnant about a month now; I’ll be “6 weeks” tomorrow by standard counting, which includes the 2 weeks between your last menstrual period and conception.

It’s been just 15 days since the positive pregnancy test, and in that time I’ve already learned a lot and found my mindset and focus adjusting from myself and Husband to the amazing thins happening in me and what I can do to create the best womb and future home for my child-to-be.

For most if that first month of pregnancy, I felt cramping almost daily. It felt a lot like I feel when my period is coming, but the cause was different – implantation and then the uterus growing and adjusting.

For several days now those cramping feelings have been gone. On some of those days I’ve felt something I can only attempt to describe as a tight feeling in my tummy – like it’s being stretched but it doesn’t have the give to stretch further. My (already large) breasts have grown some and are tender but not as tender as they were a week ago. And I’m eating more frequent smaller meals and snacks, which has helped keep the queasiness to a minimum.

All of that combined to me feeling “less pregnant” than I did the week before. On Thursday and Friday this was actually to the degree that I worried that maybe I’d miscarried, perhaps this “blighted ovum” or “missed miscarriage” thing I’d recently heard about. I told myself it was unlikely and that really the odds were everything was fine. I’d read though that symptoms coming and going was normal. But then, I’d also read that morning sickness would probably be getting worse, not better, at this point. So I couldn’t completely quiet that nagging worry in my head.

On Saturday morning I took the remaining pregnancy test I had and one each of the two brands of OPK I still had on hand, as I’d heard that those could double as pregnancy tests. The lines on the OPK’s showed up super fast and dark, before even the control lines showed. That was reassuring that there is a lot of HCG in my system, so the little pea is very likely to be still growing strong inside of me!

One thing is clear though – the hormones and idea of impending motherhood have turned my worry meter up a notch! I’ll be laying in bed trying to get rest and start thinking about all the things I need to do – like check if that acne cream is safe, or the safety of the herbal teas I drink, or get our finances in shape, or start learning about pros and cons of prenatal testing, natural labor, cloth diapers, breast feeding, brands of baby slings/carriers, car seats, and co-sleepers.

Only a few weeks in to knowing I’m pregnant and my mind is on overdrive!


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