Hey, Man, Where Do You Think Families Come From?
Young woman #1: Guys never want to eat me out.
Middle-aged dad with kids: Hey, we’re trying to eat over here.
Young woman #1: See, even hearing about it freaks them out.
Young man at next table: Maybe I can take a look for you and give you my assessment.
Middle-aged dad with kids: For God’s sake, this is a family restaurant!
Young woman #2: You have a very controversial vagina.
–Mickey D’s, Times Square
Recently, I felt like I myself could have been put on this site. You see, I normally take the subway, and so I’m often spending big gobs of time with people I don’t know at all who can hear every word I say. I don’t censor my conversations, even though there are usually so many people around who can hear them. I figure there’s no reason to shelter people’s ears, even if I’m gonna say things slightly unconventional. I don’t hide when I read books about atheism or other…sensitive topics, and I’ve had conversations out loud on the subway about how getting pot is easier below 96th street because there are more dealers that deliver straight to your apartment in the lower half of Manhattan (and they usually have better selection too!).
So, last weekend, I was traveling with two girlfriends of mine, and we had been on the train a long time so even though it was rush hour we all had seats next to each other. The train was pretty crowded, and the bars to hold onto are such that people often end up standing and facing those that are sitting. So we had some women facing us, and we had engaged in minor conversation with them about the current movies (as in, we mention a movie, a women comments, we respond, maybe she comments once more). So that conversation dies down, and we return to looking at the AM New York that my friend had picked up on the way to the train. We arrive at a page that declares that burlesque shows are undergoing a revival in NYC. So my friends jokingly point out the page, and I, a bisexual who enjoys going to strip clubs with my Husband, express great enthusiasm for it. So we read some of the places it mentions – they vary a lot in price – and I see that some are places Husband and I could afford. Since I’m sure my two girlfriends aren’t too interested in actually going to these places, I ask, in no small voice and still possibly with the attention of these women facing us:
Me: “Can I have that page?”
Friend: “Sure, you can have the whole paper if you want.”
Me: “No thanks, I don’t need the whole thing, I only want the page to know where the good Burlesque shows are.”
And I wasn’t kidding. Husband and I will go to one soon, perhaps this one:
The Lounge at Elmo
156 Seventh Ave., between 19th and 20th streets
Hunny Bunny Hot Box, founded in Austin, Texas, comes to Elmo’s underground Lounge every Wednesday, featuring ladies that conjure film-noir traces of glamour, with the comical delights of vaudeville and Broadway. Smoky jazz meets dynamic dance numbers in this medley of theater, choreography, comedy and eroticism that perfectly embodies the polished and intimate neo-burlesque experience. Doors open at 8:30 p.m. and tickets are $15, plus a two drink minimum.